survival of the fittest... why would androgyny stay?

this world has become too competitive for the survival of the weak or the underprivileged... we all have grown up with somewhat similar conditioning since childhood. Life is a race. is it?

i came across a term 'androgyny' which was interesting enough to increase my curiosity. this term is a kind of acronym of two words 'andro' meaning male and 'gyny' meaning female. it means a person who does not identify with any of the typical male-female gender roles. these people are completely genderless on the basis of their mental prowess or they are a striking combination of male and female traits in a balanced state.

it is believed by a lot of researchers as well as by me that in situation of crisis as well as of the complex and pressurizing social structure that we are living in today, the chances of survival of an androgynous person are far better than a typically male or a typically female person.

the reason behind this selection process is that an androgynous person is better equipped to handle dynamic circumstances around him/her. a male can be in touch with his female side and a female can be in touch with her male side. therefore one can be instrumental, analytic, sentimental, communicative, nurturing and protecting all at the same time. but androgynous people may face a big problem regarding their gender.

many androgynous people do not fit into their gender specific roles. there can be a high testosterone female who adopts shorter hairstyles, wear leather jackets and drinks just like men. then there can be men who are quite in touch with their female side. they may cry while watching movies and can sometimes behaves in a very feminine manner in intense situations.

what happens when androgynous people face a gender identity crisis? to be answered in the next post.

Free birds and the cage.....Male issues

everybody needs somebody. i meet a lot of men in daily life. maybe because my occupation makes me do so. i meet men who are intelligent, creative and positively 'men of substance'.  they walk in style, they talk in style, they wear those branded clothes, speak with an accent, are talented and know all about making a woman laugh through all those manuals and self help books for men that tell them how to catch the right bird. 

each and everything about them makes me believe that there could not be a better man. each and everything makes me believe, either that men i like are not extinct or that 'men' are actually a rare species... endangered, on the brink of extension.

but, one thing that bothers me a little, i have this little itch to try and hear the unsaid and finding hidden meaning in words. I hear voices....that voice of a man who socializes a lot, keeps in touch with a hell lotta people but somewhere he feels lonely. is there really an empty space?

why do u pretend? real life is not like the articles u read in men's magazines that tell you what women want. real life is not a race where your only motive to live is to plant ur sperms in as many women as possible. i knw that u have had  a good education, i knw ur life has been rather intresting, i knw that u hve a high paying job with a fancy position in the company, i knw u r womanizer( really???)

 

so why do u shout out these things, as loud as u can? who do u want to listen? why do u need to prove urself at every single thing? why do u explain the reason behind every casual remark u make? why do u say what lies there in ur heart followed by 'just kidding, dnt take it seriously'?  do u want love? are u really ready to go to any limits to get ur love? is this what u r doing to make people (and women to be specific) believe that u r wanted? is this who u really are?

U always say u r a free bird... but are u?

i guess there is a series of failed relationships(with whoever or whatever the relation is). i guess there is a want to be understood, heard and shared. do u want somebody to listen to you, without judging you or giving you stupid, useless suggestions that u know won't work out.

do u want someone to keep calling you, texting you the whole day long, even when u don't want her to? but u still abide. it just reminds u that u r not alone. she cares n she loves u. do u want to come home to lose urself in her warmth? smell the delicious food that she has cooked for u and then engage in long hours of passionate, sensuous love making? yeah, its love making, its not mere sex. its something else, something more enjoyable, something more satisfying.

u r a free bird, looking for a cage to spend the time of ur life....

i dont know where would u find ur cage... bt i m sure that whenever u ll find it, it ll be worth the wait, worth the time u spend without her.....

u have all rights to laugh over this...

In The Closet- Marrying a Homosexual

so the question is not only about alternate sexuality coming out of the closet. it is also about the the norms in the society that do not let a thousand others accept the truth in their life. in a large part of the world, homosexuality is  treated as a sin, you are condemned to hell if you commit this crime. our values and the institution of marriage has really become more than a pain to be tolerated by the alternate sexuality group.

so, a gay is not supposed to marry a girl and if he is married, he is certainly not gay. so in a situation where a homosexual gets marries to a straight woman or a man, would there be an explosion or will the spouse live in a anxiety that he/she could never affect their partners. on the other hand would the person in question always be able to live the dual life, pretending to be straight while completely aware of his/her sexuality.

i have read numerous articles over the internet about spouses, especially women who were married to an alternate sexuality bearer and were later shattered to pieces on discovering the reality. so who is to blame? two people brought up in the same society who have been  taught the same about alternate sexuality, about sins and about crimes and hell, may be scared of alternate sexuality in a similar fashion. if it is difficult for the straight spouse to accept the sexuality of his/her partner, it is equally tough for the alternate sexuality bearer to accept his sexuality and refuse to follow the rules of society, while he knows that he may be forced to live a life that is full of mockery. who is to blame now?

i believe that our norms are so rigid that they sometimes restrict our right to breathe freely. we are not a good society if we cannot live the way we want to live or if a person is somehow forced to ruin his life and that of others just for the sake of getting married.

there is certainly no future for this marriage in name. yes, there are couples who accept the identity of one of the partners and continue living their lives together. but for a others, it may turn out to be a nightmare.

there is a long way to go before the world actually acknowledges the fact the alternate sexuality bearer may have a respectful existence in the society. till the time, i do not see any harm in a straight partner marrying the gay if they both are aware of the pros and cons of the union. however, if you are married to a gay without the knowledge of his sexuality or that you do not feel comfortable in this union, it is better to stay calm and look for a concrete solution. one cannot blame your spouse for being what he/she is and so shouldnt you. however, i realize it is a tough decision and it may really take you through a phase of trauma, anxiety and a feeling of worthlessness, but in the end its all about your life and the choices you have made in order to make it what it is.

always remember that it is you and only you who can control the path of your life. so leave all the depression and negative feelings aside and start life afresh. god bless!!!